As you can probably tell from a prior post, I wasn't too keen on online dating before the world was facing a pandemic. Anyone who has used a dating app(s) for more than a little while knows that your feelings towards them are quite fluid. During some periods you're grateful to have the option and during others, you. just. can't. So to be honest, not being able to go out as a result of COVID-19 has almost been welcome in that it has given me permission to put Hinge aside and not feel bad about it.
*Almost* being the key word, as I'm no spring chicken and I see 34 barreling towards me like a freight train. These days, the years - heck - months, seem like a precious commodity. And here they are slipping away (along with my wine supply and interest in wearing real clothing). I admit it, I've done the bare minimum, but hopefully it's enough to share what it's like to be single and living that #quarantinelife. Plus, we have to document these crazy times for our future children, right? This is our walk-several-miles-uphilll-in-the-snow moment in time.
I started talking to Charles* on March 10. After a few rounds of your typical witty banter, we finally exchanged digits! By Saturday, March 14, we set a hang out for the coming Tuesday. Plan A - go out on a date somewhere, as you do. [Things escalate...] By Monday, March 16, the Coronavirus had stormed the news and much of the US began working remotely. Plan B - a coffee shop. Surely, those must be open, even if bars and restaurants were ordered to close. [Yesss, but, with no seating and limited hours.] Plan C - the bar within Mariano's or Whole Foods. Genius! [A phone call later, and come to find those have shut down too.]
Plan D - and let's pause for a moment and appreciate arriving at Plan D, because how often does that happen - drinks on Charles' rooftop with his dog (for safety, of course). There's a fire pit, and it's not a super cold day, but...it's still March in Chicago.
*Name has been changed
[An hour later...] I'm cold. The dog's cold. I'm beginning to wonder if the date was worth possible Coronavirus infection. It wasn't. Luckily I came out unscathed, even though Charles had been out the prior Saturday celebrating St. Patrick's Day with hundreds of his closest friends.
Fast forward a few weeks. Every now and then I'd force myself to open the apps and do a bit of swiping. It's at this point one really has to be creative when messaging, as you can't rely on the standard "how was your weekend, what'd you do?" (Not sure if 'I ordered enough Thai food for three people while watching old movies in my sweatpants' is very becoming.) With minimal motivation, I somehow manage to get a few chats going. But when there is no opportunity to get together in sight, what happens? Glad you asked. Conversations go on even longer than they do not during a global crisis. Dudes, we are not looking for a pen pal.
AS IF.
But one knight in shining armor came through, and we set up a virtual date! So exciting right?
Actually, it was pretty great. And I'd argue, a lot less pressure than an actual date. For one, you're in the comfort of your own home! Two, you don't have to worry about distractions like what to order, wondering if the table next to you knows you're on a first date, etc. Three, you can exit much more gracefully. Personally, I've always found it tough to know when to leave a date (after one drink feels rude, but sometimes two can take a while - but when you're just on FaceTime - you can "go" for a multitude of reasons). Lastly, it's cheaper for both parties! And no one has to trek across town. Wait, why don't we do this more?
Anyway, it will be interesting to see how things evolve, because it doesn't look like restrictions are going away anytime soon. This is our new normal. I'll be sure to keep you posted on any developments, and in the meantime, would love to hear how you're "dating" while hunkering down.
Until next time...
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